By Jeff Baird, Sunrise Reiki Colorado ♥
What follows is a powerful story from a woman who has become a good friend of mine, thanks to Reiki. She is one of the strongest people I know, and she recently took the time to share her feelings with me regarding being molested as a child, the ripple effects from this trauma, and how Reiki has helped her “release the past,” as she puts it. Thank you for your strength C.L.!
“As a young girl, I was awakened by a relative who molested me. Needless to say, going to sleep has always been hard for me. Sleep is not very restful if you’re afraid of it. For years, I had uneasiness when nightfall would approach, sometimes followed by panic attacks and attempts to drink myself to sleep. Often, right before I finally did fall asleep, I would have an overwhelming feeling accompanied by a disturbing visual of being smothered by a black, sticky, gooey cloud. As an adult, if I was woken up, I always lashed out in anger but never remembered doing it. I could never get enough rest. As a child, I remember thinking that this cloud wasn’t just coming for me. It was also coming for everything I loved. It killed all the light and flowers in my world as it smothered everything that was good, safe and sound. I never told anyone about this feeling or the dark cloud. Instead, I chose to ignore it the best that I could.
I am the oldest of four girls in my family and was raised to protect and set a good example for my younger siblings. Being the over-achiever that I am, I always did my best to please my parents by keeping my sisters safe. My old babysitter told me a story of how I would check and recheck on my sisters to make sure they were asleep before I went to sleep. Almost every night that we stayed at the babysitter’s house, she would comfort me as I cried myself to sleep. Like I said, sleep has always been difficult for me – especially when I am not at home in my own bed.
When I was 38, I finally discovered the reason for my sleep issues. At the most inopportune time, a memory resurfaced of an uncle waking me up and doing things that should not be done to a small child. All of the pieces of my sleep puzzle came together for me and I did not like what I saw. This memory had been buried for over 30 years! No wonder I was so angry when I was roused in the middle of the night. I spent the next year learning to cope and tried my best to unlearn old sleep behaviors. My sweet husband also did his best to reassure me of my safety. The molester was dead and could no longer harm me.
Reiki entered my life when I spoke to Jeff at a time when I was suffering from a brutal Migraine headache. Over the phone he could tell that something wasn’t right with me. I explained that I was in the second day of a crippling headache that made it very difficult to function. If you have suffered with Migraines, you know what I am talking about. Over the years, I have tried everything for some relief and nothing really seemed to work. He mentioned Reiki to me and then expressed his interest in sending Reiki from a distance. I said, “Sure, why not?” I appreciated the offer. That night and two more nights after, Jeff did more than help me with a migraine. He helped me sleep. Not only was the pain gone, but I also slept peacefully and woke up rested. I thought I had slept well at times before, but I was wrong. This was a deep, blissful sleep. Each morning Jeff would check in and ask how things were going. It was amazing I told him. I felt so much better and now understood the power of Reiki!
About a week ago, Jeff called me out of the blue to ask how I was doing. On a whim, I asked for his help with how to keep from waking up angry. My husband’s schedule had changed, as did our nighttime routine of going to bed at the same time. So, when he finally came to bed, I would wake up angry again and the next day I was groggy due to my lack of rest. It was a vicious cycle. I was so tired of being tired all the time!
I told Jeff that the anger was once a completely natural response to a molester waking me. But, I thought I had finally let go of that old reaction. Jeff said that he would do his thing that night by sending me some distance Reiki. After our conversation, I was in a great mood the rest of the day. I kept thinking, “Help is on the way,” and I knew that I would get some sleep.
That night was just a normal night for my family. When my husband came to bed and woke me up, it didn’t bother me at all. I woke up the next morning refreshed and higher than a kite. I knew that Jeff had helped. Later that day he called me to see how I was doing. Then, he said, “I sent the dark fog away. It could not handle the light.” I hadn’t told him anything about the dark fog. He said that he could see it during the distance session and “dark fog” was the best way he could describe it.
What those words meant to me slowly sank in. I had to close my office door, because the waterworks turned on. I sat and laughed and cried with a sense of freedom I didn’t even know that I needed. The weight of that dark cloud had pervaded my life around the clock. Now, it was gone – just like that. At that moment, I felt like my life had changed. I focused on that feeling of freedom, comfort and joy at the connectedness I’d never felt before.
This story is so much longer. I’ve done my best to keep it on point. However, I felt it was important to share as much detail as possible with the hope of highlighting the helpfulness of Reiki. It was one thing for my mind to understand that the catalyst of my pain was gone and could no longer hurt me. But, my heart was still hanging onto the painful memories. In love and light, Reiki pushed the pain away. My past did not change, my future did. For the first time ever, I learned I could keep that love and light with me every day. I am forever grateful to Jeff and his ability to help me find my own peace.”